3-year-olds
- Interact with adults to solve problems and communicate interests and ideas
Help adults with simple tasks (cleaning up toys)
Seek attention and comfort from trusted adults
Engage in simple, cooperative play with peers; begin to learn how to share and take turns
Show an understanding of own abilities (“I can zip up my jacket”)
May be able to use words to describe feelings
Can self-comfort and communicate needs and wants depending on the situation (“hold me,” “hug me.”)
May sometimes be able to voluntarily control actions and feelings
Choose to play with a familiar peer for an activity
4-year-olds
Share a brief conversation initiated by a familiar adult or initiate such a conversation
Follow simple rules and routines
Ask trusted adults for help or comfort when needed
Participate in group activities that involve group rules such as turn taking
Shows independence and have lots of ways to describe themselves
Describe feelings such as happy, sad, and mad. Explain what caused them and ask for comfort
Seek help from an adult when experiencing conflict with a peer
Play with the same friend regularly and notice when the friend is absent
Show concern for other children when they are sad or crying
5-year-olds
Participate in longer conversation and interaction with a familiar adult
Cleans up area/items independently
Ask trusted adults for help or comfort, communicate feelings, and show interest in the adult’s feelings
Participate in pretend play that involves a script, roles, and cooperation
Communicates their behavior and compares them with others
Shares complex feelings
Anticipate the predictable routines of the day and engage in group activities cooperatively
May develop special friendships with certain children and be “best friends.”
Tell another child why they are crying and comfort them
Ways to support your child Link to this section
Let your child participate in household tasks like cooking, setting the table, putting toys away, etc.
Support children with transitions by setting limits, prepping them ahead of time, and giving them choices about how to end the activity
- “Can you turn it off yourself or should I help you?”
- “I know you love to play with your toys, but after we clean up, we can make a plan for when you can play with them next.”
When possible, give your child extra time in the morning to get dressed; encourage them to try to button their shirt, snap pants, put on shoes, etc.
Help your child learn how to manage taking turns by counting how long a turn will last
- “You can swing until the count of 10 and then it’s your brother’s turn. Help me count.”
Offer choices to your child about their activities
- “You can brush your teeth before or after you put on your pajamas.”
- “You can have apples or bananas”
Teach your child how to show comfort to a friend or sibling with a gentle touch or hug.
Teach your child some comfort words, such as, “Are you OK?”
Act out different feelings with your child. Show your child a deep frown, a giggle or pretend to cry and have them guess what you are feeling
Play board games (e.g. Candyland), games with balls (e.g. catching, bouncing, or rolling the ball to each other), and/or card games (e.g. Go Fish or matching card games) with your child to practice taking turns and sharing materials
Let your child keep trying a puzzle without solving it for them. Give them gentle guidance when frustration sets in. Give them options like “What if we rotated the puzzle piece?”
This page was last updated on February 7, 2024